The Love/Veneration cycle.
January 10, 2025
There is a formula for successful marriage that is not even mentioned in today’s society. If the “professionals” of the marriage counseling industry taught this formula, the entire education system of the United States would have to be reformed. In America, rather than teaching that boys and girls are different, children are taught that boys and girls are equal. This philosophy causes boys and girls to assume they have equal strength and equal roles.
Boys grow up thinking that they should be loved by their wives, while also thinking they are to respect their wives at the same time. This mentality couldn’t be further from Biblical truth. This viewpoint is twisted from what is actual truth.
While in my first marriage I began to wonder and question if I was loved by my female counterpart. I began to attend Bible centered men’s groups and began to hear the same thing from other men in these groups. So, I decided to take a year and study the Bible (on this specific subject) to understand whether or not what I was feeling was even a biblical viewpoint.
After a few months of study I realized that not only are wives not called to love their husbands, but husbands are not called to thrive on love. The result of this study was the discovery of God’s command to wives, but at the same time, what made a man thrive.
God orders that wives are to venerate their husbands. Husbands thrive on veneration. While taught in many nations around the world, this word “veneration” is not taught in the American church nor education system. This one word, this one command could change America as we know it. And the devil knows it to.
Imagine if we had a nation of thriving men and women, in blissful matrimony. Our imaginations couldn’t scratch the surface of the God good that would occur in this dark world.
In my studying of couples, the men who received veneration from their wives became better men of God and better leaders in the home being more dedicated to their Heavenly purpose. There is a certain type of conviction that our Heavenly Father places into the heart of a man when he is venerated. His Heavenly instinct is to protect this source of veneration, just as our Father in Heaven does.
Veneration, but what does it mean? According to my study, it means “to put on a pedestal and be in awe of”. There are a few times in the New Testament where this is commanded, once for the Bride of Christ and once for wives of men.
After my divorce, I asked our Heavenly Father to bring me a wife who understands how to venerate me. It would have to be a phenomenal woman. A woman who loves God more than her pride. A woman who would be willing to humble herself and lay all of her treasures at my feet and fully submit to what our Heavenly Father has called me to be.
Long story short, this exact woman was delivered right to me. Now, the love part.
The type of love that men are called to offer their wives is the same love that Jesus gave to us. This type of love is a love that caused Him to have His flesh ripped off and His body nailed to a cross in such a way that Hollywood cannot even depict.
As I compared one being called to venerate while the other called to sacrifice himself, it became clear to me that without this love/veneration cycle, a marriage cannot be exalted by our Heavenly Father. Those practicing this cycle are outside of God’s command and will.
In my 20 year walk with Jesus, I have listened to over 50,000 Bible teachings and have counseled hundreds of couples and individuals on the topic of marriage. Our Heavenly Father gave us a model of marriage. You can read in my other blog posts about Biblical marriage ceremonies that depict our relationship as a Bride of Christ.
When teaching the love/veneration cycle, some couples get it. And when they do, they thrive. To the contrary, couples who refuse this cycle usually end up in doom.
In my 12 years of marriage counseling, 100% of “licensed counselors” rebuke this love/veneration teaching. Not one of them could get their minds around the fact that women and men are different and have different callings, strengths, weaknesses, purposes, etc. They teach an equality that causes men to think they need love and women to think they are supposed to love. Don’t get me wrong, great wives will say they love their husbands. What they are trying to say is that they are willing to venerate him.
When most men realize that they are not called to be loved they are disappointed. However, when they receive the truth of this teaching and put it into action, they are exalted beyond what they understood they could be.
I hope that you are exalted by this word of Biblical wisdom. I hope that you apply the love/veneration cycle in your marriage. I assure you that when you do this, you will be aligned with our Heavenly Father and He will begin to show up more and more in each of you and your spouses life.
If you know of a couple who could be exalted by this this teaching, please feel free to share this. I understand it is contrary to what most hear and learn in this modern American society, but it is truth and truth sets us free.
The author of this blog post is not an attorney. This information is not legal advice.